Every Fourth of July, Nathan’s has a hot dog eating contest. This year’s winner scarfed down 74 dogs within 10 minutes — a feat that leaves me feeling both awed and disgusted. First of all, why? Why would someone want to stuff themselves like a Thanksgiving turkey? For $10,000 that’s why. However, that is not enough money for me, and hot dogs would not be my choice, either.
The following day, while I was in the den writing, I realized Jess was nowhere to be found. The house was way too quiet. This could only mean one thing: She was being sneaky. Sure enough, I found her in the garage. She had discovered an unopened six-pack of Klondikes. As I was opening the door, our eyes met just as she popped the last piece of ice cream into her mouth. Busted.
The Klondikes had been hidden in the back of the freezer behind a package of pita bread and wrapped in a shopping bag. Jess had to root around before finding pay dirt. Typically, we don’t have ice cream for just this reason. This isn’t the first time I’ve found her being gluttonous. Years ago, she walked to a neighbor’s house and helped herself to the ice cream they’d stored in their outdoor freezer. Then one time, when she was much younger, she got up in the middle of the night because ice cream called her name.
“I have to trust you. How can I trust you when you are sneaky? You do realize this means no dessert for a week?” Then I reminded her of the fox that killed all our chickens. Where one chicken would have been enough food for a few days, he had murdered 10. The moral of the story: No one likes a sly, greedy fox.
Jess usually uses her Talker when she wants a snack. I wouldn’t have been so mad if she had offered to share. Maybe she thought I would say no, or she got caught up in the moment. Most likely, it was a little of both.
This solution might seem extreme, but maybe we should just let Jess eat as much ice cream as she wants? I’ve asked professional scoopers (it’s a great summer job for a student) how much they want to eat after working in the shop? Universally, they said they no longer crave it. I’m sure this would cure Jess, but I don’t want her to overload on sugar.
The only other solution is to enter an ice cream eating contest. It may not be as lucrative as a hot dog eating contest, but Jess is not in it for the money. She seems to think this is one of my better ideas. This may not help with compulsive eating. However, where food is readily available, it loses its hold over her, and she makes wiser choices.
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